i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you traded sex for a burrito?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
my poor anus
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize