My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
