moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
