he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
