can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
