that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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