My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
