Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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