Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
