Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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