It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
