Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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