Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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