Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
