By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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