therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
