Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
