We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize