You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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