Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize