No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
