just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
