i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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