I smell stomach acid.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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