Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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