I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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