Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize