the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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