im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
