God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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