just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Shame - the story of my life.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
