mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
