Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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