What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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