Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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