Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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