I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
