Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
