In the future we'll all be gay
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
