just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
