Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
