CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
