Will you blow on my dice?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
