and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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