She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
