Moan for me like Helen Keller
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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