u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
