We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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