Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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