she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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