Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
