Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
