Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
