Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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