And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
