if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize