Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need to calm my uterus...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
