he thought i was a dude.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
