I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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