i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
