he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
