Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
