dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
