everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
