You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize