You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was CRYING into my vagina
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
