Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
