She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
