Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
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